Self Esteem and Eric’s Wife’s Predator

You will learn: the 5 Recovery issues Eric addresses after discovery of his wife’s intense sexual relationship with a predator

First, here’s an introduction by Dr. Huizenga of a taped Laser Coaching Session with Eric:

How do Eric and his wife pick up the pieces after she falls victim to a narcissistic , perhaps sociopath predator?

Eric and their daughter didn’t have a clue of their bi-yearly rendezvouss which took place for a number of years.

Eric (and she) describe her relationship with the OP driven by periodic episodes of intense and kinky sex.

How could she compartmentalize? How can Eric regain any sense of self-esteem and well being?

She wants it to go away. Eric says “loose ends” must be addressed.

Dr. Huizenga’s (partial)Analysis of the Laser Coaching Session with Eric:

1. Recovery issue #1: How could I miss it?

Part of Eric’s personal recovery is answering the question, “How could I miss it?” Here, they were, meeting a couple times a year, for a number of years, engaged in high power sex of different varieties. He felt foolish that he didn’t have a clue.

And, what was wrong with him that he was clueless?

A powerful need in the recovery process is to validate one’s internal personal radar system, sometimes called intuition or instinct. A person relies upon that system more than s/he realizes. It subtly guides relationships and other decision making processes. A person relies upon on it for decisions of moving close or backing away, of discerning the next statement in a conversation or ferreting the truth.

Eric’s trust in his internal guidance system was shaken. He called into question his capacity to know the truth and his ability to find his way through complex relationships and situations. Was he defective?

Of course one is usually selective with this system. A person may choose to block or filter out an internal signal especially if it is deemed highly threatening or unpleasant.

But this was not the case with Eric. Nor was it the case with their daughter who, when she discovered, was as shocked as Eric.

Eric’s wife had the capacity to dissociate or what she described herself as “compartmentalize.” This was another life she lived. And, this life in no way, intersected with her marriage and family life. Emotionally, physically, internally they were separate.

Yes, this does and can happen.

2. Recovery issue #2: Self Esteem

Eric felt “second string.”

The remainder of the review and the audio tape is included in the new audio series: 19 Live Infidelity Coaching Sessions with Dr. Robert Huizenga, The Infidelity Coach. Check it out:

 

19 Live Infidelity Coaching Sessions
with Dr. Huizenga – The Infidelity coach

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