Surviving Infidelity Series: The Grass Isn’t Always Greener for the cheating spouse…Maybe Just Painted

These three case studies focus on how each individual dealt with their spouse’s adultery by focusing more on themselves. The first, a mother of a toddler, took some time away from parenting to focus on reclaiming herself. The second, focused on her physical appearance to deal with feelings of insecurity. The thrid was hopeful in the beginning, but soon let her cheating husband go to pursue the OP in hopes he would learn by experience that the grass isn’t always greener.

I had a 14-month-old! I took care of myself. Took some time off work, got a makeover, and found a babysitter so I could start to reclaim myself. Then I moved all the furniture around in the house to suit the way I wanted it. I started refusing to let him into the house whenever he felt like it. I bought a new wardrobe piece by piece. I told my boss; I wound up being very glad that I did because I was struggling with keeping up. I went to the park and looked at the turtles in the pond.

Before I had even taken the “knife out of my heart,” I started rebuilding me! I told him nothing (drove him crazy) and became the attractive, confident woman that attracted him in the first place! It was like saying, “you don’t want me? I’ll manage rather well, thank you very much.” In my mind I think all the time (ironically) First, he had a wife he didn’t want and a lover he couldn’t have, NOW he has a lover he doesn’t want and a wife he can’t have (he doesn’t deserve me anymore lol).

I was hopeful my unfaithful marriage would turn around. He never did this before, but was acting like a completely different person. I tolerated the B.S. for a few months, and then with support of family, friends, and counseling I realized I was too good for him. Let him keep running from reality, let him move out, disconnect with our children, why should my life change just because my marital status will. He wants a divorce, then by golly, he can have one. But, with that comes consequences, in the form of no family, friends, and total dependency on an affair partner 17 years his junior. Give it long enough and he will see that the grass is not greener, just painted.

More Surviving Infidelity Stories and Comments

Surviving Infidelity: Yes You Can! You Can Make it!!

Everyone Has His/Her Own Way of Coping with Infidelity

Confiding in Family and Friends can Ease the “Shock of Discovery”

You Gotta Have Faith!!

Keeping Yourself Occupied After the Horrifying Discovery of the Affair