Surviving Infidelity Series: Starting Over After a Lifetime
When we talk about couples who have been married for 20, 30 or even 40 years or more, the typical statement might be, “They will be together forever” or “Nobody starts cheating after 46 years of marriage.” These statements are far from accurate in many long term marriages. The following stories are of two individuals who were confronted with the harsh reality of a cheating spouse very late in their marriage. It is true, this can happen to anyone. Nothing, not even 46 years of commitment, guarantees smooth sailing in a relationship.
Surviving the affair,well I am still trying to make sense as to why why why this has happened. It’s taken me four years to bring myself to accept and face that I had nothing to do with the affair. My life certainly went into a tale spin. I didn’t want to see anyone. I was so embarrassed and thought everyone must think I’m a bitch for my husband to cheat. We’ve been married for 35 years and well known in our community.My husband is still seeing the OP . We separated 1 1/2 ago and there has been no change with my husband but I am getting stronger everyday. My husband is an alcoholic as well as depressed. It’s him that has the problems and I realize now that I can’t change him even though I care and love him.After 35 years of a good marriage, I think when a man gets in his 50s that they break down (midlife crisis ) .They don’t feel appreciated and then comes along a woman who makes him feel good about himself when in fact he’s not a very good person . He has left behind him a trail of destruction ,a broken angry family who will never be the same. I thank God for all the support I have received from family and friends as well as support groups. I have read books,articles, anything to help understand what happened. I have told my husband that a divorce is not the answer that he needs to get help. I pray that he will realize that he isn’t in love with the other woman even though he thinks so. Men only want to hear what they want.He’s in a fantasy not reality. Believe in God bring him into your life . Be positive and take good care of yourself. If you believe in God you will realize that things happen for a reason and you will grow from this pain in to a stronger healthier person. I also believe that you have to have a positive attitude and show gratitude every day for your life. If you do you will see progress in time. Be strong,have faith,lead a clean life and you will be rewarded.I realize now that there are more wonderful people in this world who make you count and bring you to a better place in life. Live your life . He’s the one who is losing.
After 46 years of marriage at age 67 discovering the 7 year affair pretty well destroyed me and who I thought I was. Family was too close and really didn’t want to hear anything about it. My friends, some of whom had suffered this fate many years before, disappeared. I found myself utterly alone. All the things I had worked for and yes sacrificed for were all destroyed. We remain together, but it goes without saying it will never be the same again. The pain gets less intense but the mind never seems to rest. Somewhere inside of yourself you have to find renewed strength and begin to redefine yourself all over. That is what has helped me–for once in my life I am thinking at least some about ME and my needs.
More Surviving Infidelity Stories and Comments
Recovering from an Affair and Waiting
Cheating Spouse = Depression, Anger and Grief
I’m a Survivor and I WILL Conquer Infidelity
Life After the Numbness Subsides
