How to End the Infidelity Pain
and Repair Your Relationship
I’m glad you are here.
You are at the right place.
How do I know that?
Well, I assume you are…
- determined to have something better
- you have the courage to seek out something better
- you’re open, seeking and want to learn.
- you have sensitivity and compassion
- And, you are in pain.
Dr. Bob Huizenga
25,000+ client hours as a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist
Author: First and Best Selling E-book, “Break Free From the Affair.”
Success You can TRUST
I know that because you are here; exploring and wanting.
You want to move beyond your pain.
You want a relationship of TRUST, honesty and mutual acceptance and respect.
Here’s what I want for you:
- to feel better quickly
- and begin to notice different responses from your spouse or partner in the next 48 hours
Note Abby’s Timeline
In our first coaching session Abby talked about her husband finding his “soul connection.”
He refused to stop seeing and talking to her and became increasingly critical of Abby.
And, get this: he even asked for Abby’s support and understanding!
Abby was like, “Huh?!!.” but also fearful that if she exploded or withdrew her “support” he was a good as out the door and with his lover.
Of course Abby was confused, angry, felt helpless and terrified.
In that session I was very intentional in affirming Abby’s inner strength and began planting seeds of what she might say that had the best chance of helping her feel better and impacting her cheating husband.
In the following week she began to set boundaries, create “space,” make meta-comments and charge neutral as well as monitor what was brought up in her.
14 Days Later
14 days after our session, Abby’s husband wanted to set a time to talk to her.
He told Abby he had completely broken off the affair and wanted to work on the marriage.
She emailed me, “It’s amazing what honesty, and charging neutral, has done to get us to this point.”
Is this an unusual case?
No. Actually it’s fairly typical.
Tracey and the Elephant in the Room
Tracey and her husband were at a standstill and had been for a long time. They lived together, were cordial and didn’t talk about the elephant in the room.
Every so often he would excuse himself to go have a few beers with his buddies, which meant seeing the other person. (Tracey was able to track his position.)
Tracy and I talked about confronting the affair or the elephant, without blowing everything out of the water.
Tracey emailed me:
Hi Dr. Huizenga,
Thank you for talking to me this past Tuesday. I was a bit of a mess with trying to get everything sorted out in my mind, but I believe that I am thinking more clearly now.
Last night the opportunity presented itself to say something so I did. It went something like this: I said in a calm, non confrontational way…”I just wanted to let you know some things that Alexa (our daughter) has been asking me that I am not sure how to respond to. I told him that she commented that “Daddy has been going out alot with his friends” and that last night when he was out she asked “Is Daddy coming home tonight?”. I told him that the first thing this morning she asked me was “Did Daddy come home last night.” He sat there not saying much. But I felt better. …we will see what he does with it. I also at some point mentioned, again calmly, in response to something he said, “wherever you go and whoever you go with”…to let him know i wasn’t buying the whole “out for beers” excuse.
(Tracey had the courage to confront in a rather indirect, but relevant matter, his behavior. It was a strong “baby step.”)
She also wrote: He has been more comfortable around me and has seemed to be more friendly and considerate. I have also returned to work 2 days per week and he seems to not know what to think about that
Is this magic?
No.
The Couple that Changed My Professional Life
I’ve spent a professional lifetime as a Marriage and Family Therapist – over 25,000 direct client hours and hundreds of hours of supervision and training.
Back in the late 90’s I was baffled by many couples who refused to budge.
I was working with a couple one day; the wife dragged her husband into my office by the ear and proceeded to ream him out for not spending enough time with her, being distant, etc.
He sat there like a stiff post, being nice but divulging absolutely nothing.
Then it came out.
The wife hinted at another person.
That was it! He was having an affair, but for religious, business, personal and community reasons would not come close to admitting it.
That was their last session with me. They were stuck. And, I was stuck.
So, I embarked on research, study and implementing new strategies with couples whom I suspected were struggling with infidelity.
Knowing the 7 Types of Affairs Begins Your Recovery
I began to understand. I began to see patterns. My therapy became more powerful.
Much so, that in 2001 I wrote the first Ebook on Infidelity, “Break Free From the Affair,” a comprehensive extensive outline of 7 types of affairs and how each can be addressed.
People gobbled up the ebook. (There was a lack of adequate information on infidelity then, not only online but in the professional community as well.)
I sold thousands of copies and the testimonials poured in.
This is what others say:
Although all of type #4 seems to fit my situation like a glove, I highlighted the most strongest points that apply there as well. And I must tell you, it was shocking when I first read #4, it was as if you were a fly on the wall during this whole thing. ~ Bill
Your profiles are so accurate it is eery! ~ Matthew
I am amazed at how on-target you are in your profiles of the different types of “cheaters”. I wish I had this two years ago–would have saved me a lot of trial-and-error. ~ Shelly
It was amazing how the type of affair my wife was having just jumped out at me. Knowing that, and what to expect, has given me hope that there will be a resolution. Thanks, Bob.” ~ Brad
I couldn’t believe how accurate your description was of him – he is definitely number 3 but I don’t feel he has always been which is the sad thing really. ~ Elizabeth
Dear Dr. Huizenga,I just bought your book yesterday and all I can say is thank you. I was on a emotional roller coaster when I found out that my wife was having an affair (#4). Everything you said about the typical reactions for the offended were dead on. Everything you mentioned, I was going through (I was miserable). You helped me more than anyone or any resource ever did. It was uncanny how accurate everything was. ~ George
The identification of the affair type, and suggestions to change my behavior accordingly really assisted me to cope! I haven’t really found ANY book offering this kind of information, and NO counselors ever have. It helped with my need to do something to fix it. ~ Suseth
I just purchased your ebook Break Free from the Affair. In reading over the type of affair I am facing, I am #3. Everything you say is right on target. I could not believe every word you wrote was me to a T. ~ Brian
You were right on and after I shared it with my husband , He opened up more than ever because he was not sure him self what was going on! ~ Joy
It was extremely helpful for us to read the description about the “revenge affair” as it was so accurate and made my husband feel as though he was not a sexual pervert-I felt better also, especially since you gave it more of a chance of ending successfully. ~ Izzy
Identifying the kind of affair made such a big difference in my state of mind. “I cant’ say No” brought it all home for me. I have confronted him before, but he tells me I’m crazy and paranoid. He is such a smooth operator. ~ Katie
Overcome Your Pain, Get Clarity and Move Toward Resolution in 48 Hours
48 hours…that’s all I want from you now.
During these 48 hours I want you to take a break from thinking about the affair and them.
I want you to shift your focus away from your cheating spouse to yourself.
And, if you are like most you argue…
- If I stop being there for him/her; if I stop trying, I will lose him/her.
- Or, If I do that, it will look like I don’t care and s/he will be gone.”
You may have those fears, but, believe me, work with thousands of couples informs me that those fears are not founded.
In reality, taking a 48 hour “break” most likely will pique your cheating spouse’s interest.
And, 48 hours is NOT a long time.
Look at the larger picture: thoroughly working through an affair takes 2-4 years (without expert guidance) and often 6-18 months with guidance and making significant changes.
So, relax a little, take a deep breath and commit to 48 hours.
5 KEY Recovery Areas
– Your Focus for the Next 48 Hours
Have you experienced anything as excruciatingly painful as discovering your partner is cheating?
Probably not.
The affair brings up pains, urges, images and fears that you thought never existed.
But, they are there, real and powerful.
And, if like most, you resort to your personal default mode to cope.
But here’s another problem plopped on top of your pain: what you do to get away from your pain – your default mode (argue, rage, beg, please, cry, become depressed, freeze, etc.) – gives your cheating spouse an excuse to continue their affair!
And, you become with force the person you truly don’t want to be and the person you truly are not.
This is your bind.
And if you continue in this bind, it is almost guaranteed that one of three situations will emerge:
- The affair will continue
- The affair will end as well as your marriage
- Or, the affair will end and you will live together in a cold untrusting marriage.
I’ve identified 5 areas common to infidelity suffering and have developed resources for each.
These 5 areas are your focus for the next 48 hours.
1.Get Rid of Negative Thoughts and Images
Your pain comes from the 6 inches between your ears – what you think about 24/7 – all the garbage stirred by the affair.
Where does your pain come from?
Your pain comes from the 6 inches between your ears – what you think about 24/7 – all the garbage stirred by the affair.
And where do these thoughts come from?
They come from what you have been taught and absorbed the myths and misconceptions, about infidelity.
Here are two common myths that stir up terror in your heart.
- My spouse fell out of love with me and in love with someone else.
Maybe your spouse even told you this, “Hey, don’t take this personal, but I’ve fallen out of love with you. I love you, but I’m not IN love with you.”
Please know this is a crock.
Infidelity has absolutely nothing to do with love. I has to do with an emptiness or a now bankrupt coping mechanism within your spouse that has been there long before they met you. An affair is an attempt to escape from the reality of one’s self.
Affairs are NEVER about love.
Affairs are a symptom of a lost soul.
Affairs are NEVER about love.
Infidelity is not a mystery based on some starry eyed people “falling in love” outside the marriage.
Affairs are a symptom of a lost soul.
- Or, Our marriage is lousy. I did not meet their needs
Please know that the affair has absolutely NOTHING to do with any “failure” on your part. EVERY marriage has it’s problems, but they are not an excuse for infidelity.
There are many other misconceptions about infidelity that harm and not help your inner state or the state of the affair.
I cover your “relearning” process extensively in the 48 Hour
Infidelity Boot Camp (Level 2 of the Infidelity Recovery Center.)
A two hour Webinar on an Introduction and Key Principles points to the TRUTH about infidelity. (BTW, this Webinar can be downloaded to listen at your convenience.)
2. You are STUCK and NOTHING Works
This desperate plea I hear fairly frequently, especially a couple months after D-Day (Day of Discovery.)
You assume that affairs are based on common sense (the whole falling out of and into love schlick.)
So, common sense tells you to do one of two things…
First, give an ultimatum (often the ‘advice’ of a friend or family member or someone who has not experienced the depth of pain and hurt.)
Second, be nice, accommodate, don’t rock the boat (advice of someone who assumes you or the marriage failed) and time will heal and you will win them back.
Affairs are acts of temporary insanity
Affairs are NOT based on Common Sense and can’t be stopped by “Common Sense”
And, maybe we can add a third – get help (into counseling.)
Here’s the problem: Affairs are NOT based on Common Sense.
Affairs are acts of temporary insanity, not common sense.
In the 48 Hour Infidelity Boot Camp I STRONGLY suggest you stop doing any of the 6 Killer Mistakes I talk about.
These Killer Mistakes are based on Common Sense and they just plain don’t work. In reality they prolong your misery and the affair.
BTW, two of the Killer Mistakes are suggesting counseling and trying to convince the cheating spouse that you love them.
I often hear from my coaching clients, “Yes, I did everyone of the 6 Killer Mistakes.”
My response, “Welcome to the Club.”
Once you understand the insanity of infidelity and refuse to buy into the Common Sense notion you feel better and you are better prepared to EFFECTIVELY address the infidelity.
3. You Feel Helpless and Lost
You feel victimized.
Once you get this victim thing turned around your world changes.
Here’s what you need to unravel
Your Cheating Spouse is the Victim, NOT You!
This seems strange.
You feel like the victim don’t you?
You’re losing it all, in misery and your cheating spouse is out there having a great time…floating in the emotional space of being “in love.”
I don’t want to minimize your pain and terror. It IS real. And right now you experience yourself as the victim.
Infidelity brings up a TON of primordial feelings that at first put you on overwhelm.
Abby spent sleepless haunting nights and resorted to Lexapro so after D-Day she could function.
Tracey could barely talk in our first session, her throat constricted by the fear and pain.
The Truth…
But the truth remains, the cheating spouse holds the greatest danger of a downward spiral.
Here’s what I’ve learned about cheating.
- A cheating spouse knows the affair relationship is temporary.
- A cheating spouse (a part of them) knows the affair is not a good thing.
- A cheating spouse is having an affair to emotionally escape from something within.
- 95% of them who cheat later say it was a mistake.
- 90% of future marriages of the cheating spouse and affair partner fail.
Infidelity is an act of temporary insanity.
The cheating spouse is the victim, is pouring their life down a dirty drain and missing out on an opportunity.
Integrate these concepts into your thinking as did Abby and Tracey.
Your personal power will be magnified and you will be free to effectively address the infidelity.
You also feel like you’ve lost yourself.
Where did “you” go to?
Your life becomes wrapped around and deeply entangled in the betrayal.
You lose YOUR life.
Your energy and focus is on them…
- on what they are doing…
- on getting your spouse back…
- on trying to get information from them…
- on managing and controlling your pain and fears…
- on your children family and friends…
- on the terror of losing it all!!
You doubt your worth. You have more questions than answers.
The first work of Abby and Trace was counterintuitive… creating some “space” between them and their cheating spouse.
The first work of Abby and Tracey was counterintuitive…creating some “space” between them and their cheating spouse.
Abby and Tracey affirmed what was true, found their voice and found themselves.
Within that personal power they were able to act differently and breathe more deeply.
Frequently I hear, “I just plain lost myself and it is so good for me to be me again!”
Find yourself and you find your power.
And as Tracey noted, her cheating spouse raised his eyebrows.
Abby mentioned that her cheating husband said, “You seem different. What’s up with you?”
And HE began pursuing her.
4. You Don’t Understand Why Your Partner Cheated
What happened to this person who once so deeply loved and cared for you and is now emotionally a million miles away?
What in the world is going on?
What does all this mean?
Discovering the TRUTH about infidelity will provide comfort, set you free and help you develop your plan of action.
All affairs are not alike.
Affairs are different depending on
- the motivation
- personality factors
- and personal history of the cheating spouse.
Once you know the type of affair you can pinpoint exactly what you can say and do to disrupt the patterns.
A Vital Key to understanding your cheating partner and discovering the TRUTH about infidelity is found in my Ebook, “Break Free From the Affair,” Level 3 of the Infidelity Recovery Center.
You might want to go back and read what others had to say about the results of reading this book.
Once you read “Break Free From the Affair you will..
YOU WILL HAVE AN IDEA OF HOW LONG THE AFFAIR WILL LAST.
Each affair has a shelf life, depending on the type of affair
You want it over with, now, don’t you. You want the affair to stop.
Well, each affair has a shelf life, which differs according to the type of affair. “Break Free From the Affair” gives you a time frame for your type.
YOU WILL UNDERSTAND YOUR PARTNER’S MOTIVES FOR THE AFFAIR.
Your spouse cheated because of unconscious and untapped motives
Why? Why the cheating? Why now? I never saw it coming. What happened?
Your spouse cheated because of unconscious and untapped motives. You begin to read your spouse better than they know themselves.
YOU WILL ASK YOURSELF POWERFUL QUESTIONS ABOUT YOUR MARRIAGE.
For each type of affair I ask some scary and direct questions related to the marriage. These questions MUST be asked an attempted to answer before you go further.
And, when you do address them honestly most experience an surge of relief flow through their body.
YOU WILL BE EXPOSED TO THE “DEGREE OF DIFFICULTY
Some affairs are more deeply engrained than others.
Is there hope? What does it mean to have hope?
YOU WILL LEARN ABOUT SPECIFIC TACTICS FOR EACH TYPE OF AFFAIR
Tracy didn’t know how to act or what to say around her cheating husband.
She knew about the affair but he didn’t know she knew. (Talk about an elephant in the room!)
We identified an area of concern, indirectly related to the affair and I taught Tracey how to use “meta comments” as discussed in “Break Free From the Affair.”
YOU WILL DEVELOP YOUR PLAN
Discovering infidelity robs you of your future.
You see no further than the next day, sometimes the next hour.
You have no idea of what to do. Your life is wrapped around your pain.
“Break Free From the Affair” not only untangles you from the pain; it gives you a plan. And with a plan, you look into your future with more optimism.
YOUR SPOUSE OR PARTNER WILL NOTICE SOMETHING DIFFERENT ABOUT YOU
If you had any emotional investment in your relationship, your cheating partner is still hooked to you.
If you had any emotional investment in your relationship, your cheating partner is still hooked to you.
It may not be apparent, but it’s there.
One eye will be watching you.
You will learn not to forget that, especially when you understand your relationship “system.”
5. You Feel Isolated and Alone
An important part of Recover is overcoming your isolation.
Family and friends and even a large portion of the helping community are clueless when it comes to supporting and guiding you in your struggle with infidelity.
You feel isolated and on your own.
You may think it’s not wise to divulge your ‘secret’ to others for fear of upsetting your cheating spouse or seemingly making recovery more difficult.
Or you also think that if there is recovery, that you would need to repair the damage done by talking to family or friends.
And of course, in our society there is a large amount of guilt and shame associated with having a marriage marked by infidelity.
So you seem to be alone, with your thoughts, your pain and overwhelm.
Once you register for the Infidelity Recovery Center you will know that you are not alone.
I’ve conducted a number of Q&As over the past few months, proven to be invaluable for other asking their questions and sharing their stories.
You will find in them a ‘home’ where you begin to identify with others and realize that you are not alone as well as learning some valuable information about infidelity.
Here’s a list of the Q&As posted.
You are at the right place.
I hope you feel a measure of relief, knowing there is a route you can follow through the maze of painful feelings and confusion.
- to feel freedom from the pain, the images, the fears
- to have hope that not all is lost
- to have your spouse raise their eyebrows and wonder what YOU are up to
I offer hope, a route that thousands of others, like you, have a successfully taken.
This hope, direction and route is found in the Infidelity Recovery Center.
Here’s a focus on the first 3 Levels.
The Introductory Level (1) of the Infidelity Recovery Center
The Welcome Module
In the Welcome Module you learn more about my background and my mission.
In the 90s one of my clients was stabbed to death by her husband. I take your safety very seriously. In this module I offer an extensive survey that helps determine your level of safety and actions steps if needed.
Should you share this information with your spouse?
That decision is based on 4 key factors which I share in this Module.
The Download Module
7 Types of Affairs Cheat Sheet.
Use this cheat sheet to understand the craziness of the affair.
Cheater, Cheater, Affair Repeater
Affairs are messy. They are always selfish and very painful. Cheater, Cheater Affair Repeater is a great introduction to the seven types of affairs.
Q&A with Dr. Huizenga
A compilation of infidelity Q & A, answered and addressed personally by Dr. Robert Huizenga. This report addresses common questions dealing with internet cheating, emotional affairs, dealing with the other person (OP), children of affairs, and more…
Overcome Barriers to Resolving Your Crisis
When a marriage crisis invades your life you find it extremely difficult to maintain your focus on the core issues in your marriage crisis. I describe 3 Powerful common barriers and ways to shift and maintain your focus, enabling you to build a relationship you trust will last forever.
Resolution of Your Marital Crisis
An introduction to Personal Coaching. To feel less isolated, rebuild your emotional power, move toward resolution of your crisis and speak more powerfully use Personal Coaching. Accelerate your healing. Focus. Finish.
Q&A Sessions Module
Watch the videos, read the transcripts or download the audio of the 21 half hour Q&A sessions with me as I respond to live participants. You will find a wealth of practical information and powerful interactions that keep you on your recovery path.
The Infidelity IQ Module
Answer these 42 True/False questions about infidelity. Click the submit button to see your answers, your score and the correct answers. A brain teaser that helps you rethink infidelity.
Daily Emails with Infidelity Tips and Guidance
These readers speak of their experience…
Reading your email made me cry with relief. Bonnie
I finally feel that I have truly met someone who really understands the pain and suffering that a wounded spouse truly feels. Angela
You are the absolute first person, professional or otherwise, I’ve ever seen write about what I think might be going on, in part, in my life and relationships. James
Your articles, books, and e-mails were my companions during the worst time of our relationship. I have also forwarded your articles to him and he is also reading them. Eloise
Your words and suggestions bring immediate relief and sanity to what otherwise is a lonely, confusing state of reality. Karen
Bob… You’ve been a great resource for more than two years. Your emails have more than helped me through my darkest hours, your advice has saved me from endless pain and frustration. Barb
The Infidelity Boot Camp Level (2) of the
Infidelity Recovery Center
The purpose of the Boot Camp is to help you find relief quickly and see results quickly.
An vitally important part of Recovery is reprogramming your thinking about infidelity and creating a calm emotional base that short circuits your reactions. You want to ACT rather than REACT
Part 1 and Part 2: How to Stop the Affair: Introduction and Key Principles (Video, Audio file to download, Recovery Scorecard and background reading.)
In these two hour classes, I present Key Principles to guide you in surviving the affair and the best way to initially stop the infidelity. In these course you will learn:
- 3 common outcomes when the affair is brought into the open
- The MAJOR reason your spouse had an affair
- Why your spouse desperately needs you – but won’t admit it
- 5 subtle but effective ways to get your spouse to change
- 4 times when you should NOT “work on the relationship” together
- 3 common barriers that knock you off the recovery road
- Understanding and using your pain in recovery
- Overcoming your isolation
- How to powerfully and calmly confront your spouse with a “canned” statement
- What it means if your spouse refuses to change
- 3 major keys to evaluate readiness for change
Identifying the Type of Affair
For some the type of affair jumps out at them. For others, their is more confusion. This module presents a 70 question survey, with a rating system, helping to you objectify the process of discovering the type of affair. Remember, knowledge is power.
14 Ways to Calm Yourself
These 14 tips and strategies will enable you to see the world a little differently and approach yourself with more understanding and calm. Others, at the end, tell their stories of using these tips.
Are You Making One (or all) of the 6 Killer Mistakes?
I outline for you, in this report, the 6 most prominent and common Killer Mistakes that prolong the affair and your misery and, in reality, probably strengthen the bond of the affair relationship (depending on the type of affair.) Experiment with refraining from using any of these tactics for the next 7 days.
Identify the Changes You are Now Making
Boot Camp Shifts. Examine the shifts you are making or desire to make. Note when they happen. Keep them in the top of your mind each day. Live with them for the next few days. Focus.
Boot Camp Evaluation (download chart)
What is changing and shifting? You may not think you or your situation is changing, but change and shifts are always in action. Review what you learned and what you were able to implement.
The Affair Recovery Level (3) of the
Infidelity Recovery Center
Your first step is to read “Break Free From the Affair” found in this Level. “Break Free From the Affair” has impacted thousands and in a concise but thorough manner invites you to look at infidelity in a radically different and freeing way.
Break Free From the Affair
The first e-book on infidelity, “Break Free From the Affair” written in 2002, has been used by tens of thousands to help a alleviate the pain of infidelity, determine the type of affair and create a strategy that changes of the course of the affair and the marriage.
- Learn why you are not at fault
- Discover the type of affair facing you
- Determine which strategy works best
- Discover the length of the affair and how it will end
How to “Get Over It: for Good
… transform your experience of arguments and upsets in your relationships. Rather than avoiding confrontation and “walking on eggshells”, you will be able to safely and constructively talk about things that are hard to talk about.
The Cheating Spouse Guide
This guide, written by someone who has been-there-done-that, includes effective ways to find out if your mate is cheating. This material is very useful for anyone who suspects sexual affairs or cyber affairs.
Keep Your Marriage
Ten Important Questions to Ask Yourself. These questions will Tell you if Saving Your Marriage is possible. Also..
- Twenty-one Mistakes You Don’t Want to Make
- Sixteen Ways to Take Care of yourself
- Twenty-five Ways to Deepen Your Relationship
- Twelve Ways to Expand your Inner Skills
Support and Peer Input
You have access to Dr. Huizenga’s private Facebook Support Group with over 20,000 members. Read, learn and participate if you like.
Your Homework
Here’s what I want you to do:
Take the next 48 hours off…
Back off from your spouse or situation.
- Don’t ask questions
- Don’t “check” on them
- Don’t make any decisions. Put that on hold.
- Don’t think about the cheating.
The purpose of the 48 hours is to:
- Calm yourself so you refrain from reacting (which merely causes more problems.)
- Affirm yourself; let you know that you really are ok, have worth, value, etc.
- Develop understanding (and maybe even a little compassion for your spouse.) You married them right? There must be some good somewhere.
- Prepare to act in the coming weeks and months with targeted words and actions that have power and purpose.
- Begin reprogramming your thinking with the TRUTH about infidelity
Start with Level 3, the Affair Recovery Module.
Download “Break Free From the Affair” and devour it. Thousands have reported dramatic shifts.
What they say…
It was amazing how the type of affair my wife was having just jumped out at me. Knowing that, and what to expect, has given me hope that there will be a resolution. Thanks, Bob.”
Dear Dr. Huizenga,I just bought your book yesterday and all I can say is thank you. I was on a emotional roller coaster when I found out that my wife was having an affair (#4). Everything you said about the typical reactions for the offended were dead on. Everything you mentioned, I was going through (I was miserable). You helped me more than anyone or any resource ever did. It was uncanny how accurate everything was.
I couldn’t believe how accurate your description was of him – he is definitely number 3 but I don’t feel he has always been which is the sad thing really.
Identifying the kind of affair made such a big difference in my state of mind. “I cant’ say No” brought it all home for me. I have confronted him before, but he tells me I’m crazy and paranoid. He is such a smooth operator.
Overcome the Confusion
For some the type of affair is obvious; others bump into some confusion.
Don’t worry, confusion is often an indicator of better success than being able to pinpoint right away the type of affair.
If confused go to the Boot Camp Level, the Identifying the Type of Affair Module and complete the 70 question survey for a better understanding of the type of affair.
Once you have some idea about the type of affair and feel more calm, go to the Boot Camp and the “Are You Making One (or all) of the 6 Killer Mistakes?” Module.
The 6 Killer Mistakes are based on Common Sense. But, remember affairs are not Common Sense. Understanding the whys and wherefores of the Killer Mistakes is CRITICAL in rethinking infidelity.
Refrain for at least 48 hours doing any of the Killer Mistakes.
You are now on the Recovery Path.
BONUS: FREE Personal 15 Minute Consultation
Here’s a very special offer.
If, at any time during the 48 hours you are really struggling, confused, want direction or have a need to talk through your situation, email me and I will set up a 15 minute consultation via phone or gotomeeting.
I want you to succeed.
I want to be there for you, personally.
I want you to know you are not alone.
Now, I’m not sure how long this offer will last, considering my schedule, etc. but for right now, this offer is on the table
There is More, but Not Now
There is an Advanced Recovery Module (Level 4) that continues a wealth of detailed and specific information about infidelity…
- Should I spy?
- Is confronting the other person helpful?
- The First Steps in Surviving Infidelity
- From Discovery to Recovery
- and 19 Live Recorded Coaching sessions with my written notes, evaluation and helpful tips.
Personal Coaching, But Not Now.
I also offer Personal Coaching Packages with me:
- 4 half hour sessions without email privileges
- 4 half hour sessions with email privileges
- 8 half hour sessions without email privileges
- 8 half hour sessions with email privileges
You may be in a world of hurt right now and think that one on one coaching with me would be wonderful.
But, I want you to first go through the first 3 Levels of the Infidelity Recovery Center.
I’ve found that coaching is exponentially more helpful if you are familiar my materials, especially “Break Free From the Affair” and the 6 Killer Mistakes.
Coaching then is focused and as well, you more than likely have stronger emotional legs under you.
Don’t worry,
I will check in in the next couple of days, see how you are doing and then we can discuss intensive coaching.
Many use the free 15 minute phone consultation as a testing ground for coaching.
Get Started NOW in the
Infidelity Recovery Center
For now I want you to get started on the first 3 levels of the Infidelity Recovery begins in 5 Minutes.
Click this button to gain immediate access to the Infidelity Recovery Center.
Yes, Dr. Huizenga. Send me my username and password to access the “Quickstart Package” (Levels 1-3) and the “Advanced Affair Recovery Level 4” of the “Infidelity Recovery Center”… for ONLY 3 monthly payments of $97.
100% Money Back Guarentee…
If you are one of the small percentage who do not find any part of the “Quickstart Package” or the “Advanced Affair Recovery Level” helpful in the next 30 days. I’ll refund your money. No Questions asked.
Start in 5 Minutes
In 5 minutes you can be on your way to pinpointing the type of affair, stop shooting yourself in the foot with Killer Mistakes and open the door to a new world of grasping the TRUTH of infidelity which will set you free and on a new course of recovery.
And, I will make the decision ridiculously easy.
Yes, Dr. Huizenga. Send me my username and password to access the “Quickstart Package” (Levels 1-3) and the “Advanced Affair Recovery Level 4” of the “Infidelity Recovery Center”… for ONLY 3 monthly payments of $97.
100% Money Back Guarentee…
If you are one of the small percentage who do not find any part of the “Quickstart Package” or the “Advanced Affair Recovery Level” helpful in the next 30 days. I’ll refund your money. No Questions asked.
You may be feeling the devastation. You may be terribly confused. Your world is shattered and you may see no end to the pain.
Please know that change can and does happen.
I see it every day.
My readers and clients show and tell me of their success.
They have succeeded and so can you.
Infidelity is NOT the end of your world.
In reality, infidelity is often a wake up call, a cry for help and an impetus to find something better.
A part of you and a part of your cheating spouse is searching, wanting and needing (although it may be just below the level of awareness.)
This is your time for something different.
This is your time for recovery.
Join with me.
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Yes, Dr. Huizenga. Send me my username and password to access the “Quickstart Package” (Levels 1-3) and the “Advanced Affair Recovery Level 4” of the “Infidelity Recovery Center”… for ONLY 3 monthly payments of $97.
100% Money Back Guarentee…
If you are one of the small percentage who do not find any part of the “Quickstart Package” or the “Advanced Affair Recovery Level” helpful in the next 30 days. I’ll refund your money. No Questions asked.
