Types of Affairs: Affair #1 – My Marriage Made Me Do It

Here’s a question regarding types of affairs. This question specifically addresses affair type #1, or the “My Marriage Made Me Do It” affair:

Question: How do I handle it If they didn’t intentionally go out looking for someone, but found someone at a new job site while training? He kissed her twice, and supposedly texted her for the next six months. Is this affair number one (affair #1 is the My Marriage Made Me Do It type of affair, which is discussed in my ebook, Break Free From the Affair)? He says we have had a crummy marriage and that’s why he cheated.

Dr. Huizenga’s Answer: OK. That may be affair number one, and she flattered him. It could be number one. However, I need much more information. When I evaluate these, I ask a bunch of questions, but it does sound like a number one. Here are some additional questions I might ask regarding this type of affair: Is he angry? Does he blame others for his situation? Talk about flattery. Does he have low self esteem? Is he trying to prove his desirability, or is he a highly emotional kind of person who likes to feel the emotional highs? Those are all questions I would ask to kind of hone in, and pinpoint the type of affair. Again, there’s some overlap in these affairs. We can’t always fit everybody into one specific category. Many people fall into more than one category in terms of the type of affair in which they are involved.