Getting Him/Her to “Talk” Part 2

Here are some other points to consider when trying to engage or getting your spouse to “talk”:

• A series of Engagements, each building positively on the other, create a framework for the possibility of warmth, acceptance, love and romance (if you want to use that word.)
• Some formats of engagement may work better for one than another. Face-to-face, phone, texting and email are different platforms. A consideration of the platform used is important in the beginning shifts away from negativity and reactivity.
• One typically initiates the engagement and the other responds with reluctance (see pursuer – distance process later.)
• Engagements turn to negativity and reactivity when approached out of personal neediness.

Each engagement gives a wealth of information to enhance your personal power and voice.
Engaging your spouse means you need NOT “work on the relationship.” The relationship with its variations of intimacy emerges effortlessly as you bring and express your voice.

Infidelity is terrible but surviving an affair is possible!