Why are men so against infidelity counseling, especially when they’re the ones who have done the cheating?
Most of the time, when a couple goes in for infidelity counseling or marital therapy to try to rebuild their marriage after an affair it is usually the woman who had made the decision to do so. It is a common belief that men are generally against the idea of going to counseling to talk about their problems, marital or otherwise. Here are some observations as to why that may be:
1. Men are direct, to-the-point problem solvers. They don’t dwell or over-analyze things they are going through. When they see a problem, they think of a solution to fix it. And if that particular solution doesn’t work, they think of another solution, then another one, then another one.
Going in for infidelity counseling, in most cases, isn’t as helpful or fulfilling for them as it is for women because they don’t see how it can help the situation.
2. There is this notion that men aren’t capable of expressing their feelings and thoughts, at least not as well as women do, and that talking about their problems and things like that isn’t something that they should do because that particular area is something just for women. And talking about their problems and feelings is exactly what they think infidelity counseling is all about.
3. Men like to think things through internally rather than talking about them out loud. They aren’t really keen on saying out in the open what their problems are or what it is that they are going through, and what they think and they how they feel about those problems. They would keep things to themselves, think of the different things they can do about it, and then go ahead and do it.
Women should be sensitive about how their husbands feel about counseling. Not all men are open to sharing their feelings with a stranger, but not all men would keep things bottled up inside either. Try to assess which of those your partner is. And before making any plans, discuss it with your husband first. Nothing feels more like an attack than a surprise appointment for infidelity counseling that he had no idea about.
