In marriages where infidelity is involved and divorce is being contemplated, there are plenty of things that need to be considered, most especially when there are children to think about as well. The number one question that parents ask themselves in situations like this is, “What’s best for the kids?”
Years of counseling and coaching couples who are going through exactly the same thing – considering whether or not to get a divorce after infidelity – revealed that all they want to do is do right by themselves and their families, and to make the best possible decision for everyone.
A lot of people in situations like this have a tendency to choose to hide their marital problems, such as infidelity, from their children as a way of “protecting” them from their troubles and to keep them from worrying about what’s going on in their marital life. But a big downside of hiding things from your children is the surprise they’re going to feel once they finally discover the real state of your relationship and the events that transpired to make it so.
But what’s interesting to know is that most of the time, kids can sense when there is trouble in your relationship. They may not know the details or specifics of what is going on, but no matter how you try to hide it, they can tell when something is wrong.
People make decisions based on a number of different things, and the same is true when it comes to deciding whether to end a marriage or to stay in it after infidelity. Some may be motivated by guilt, some by the image they show to their friends and family, and still some by the feelings and emotions that they feel at a particular moment.
Whatever decision you decide to make when it comes to the fate of your relationship after infidelity, make sure that you consider how it will affect your children and what things they will learn from it. As intuitive as kids are regarding their parents’ relationships, know that they are as resilient as well and can be able to handle knowing the truth about you and your partner’s relationship with proper guidance.
The decision to stay or to leave your marriage is solely up to you, and only you can decide whether or not you will be able to forgive your partner’s infidelity, get past it and begin to restore your relationship. Listen to your heart and allow yourself to make this decision for you and nobody else.
Meeting people and starting new relationships will always be difficult and there are no assurances that those relationships will last. All you can do is to choose the best possible person for you, and to work hard with that person to get through any challenge that may come your way.
Having a happy relationship takes a lot of work and you and your partner should be willing to do it, especially when you have children. Remember that your kids look up to you and will learn from the example that you are showing. So whether you decide to stay in your marriage and work on it or leave your marriage after infidelity and find a new person to be with, make sure that you show your children the best example of love that you possibly can.
