Sexual affairs or emotional affairs? What would you rather have to deal with?

When you find out that your partner has been having an extramarital affair, the first thing you want to know, especially if you are a woman, is whether or not he or she is in love with the other person.

Emotional affairs, or sexless affairs, are usually considered to be a more forgivable type of affair, but would you really rather hear that your husband or wife has feelings for this other person rather than just a physical or sexual relationship?

Emotional affairs are usually pushed aside like they were insignificant since nothing physical ever happened, but in reality, this is how extramarital affairs usually start. Your partner may not even realize what is going on or that it is happening. He or she may not even be looking for an affair or may not even want one in the first place, but having someone to talk to, sharing thoughts and feelings with, goals and problems and secrets – all these things creates intimacy which can lead to developing feelings, falling in love and eventually, physical intimacy.

Most clients say that having to get over an emotional betrayal by their partner is way harder to heal from than a physical one. Knowing that their partners fell in love with someone else creates all kinds of doubts in themselves — are they not good enough, do they not show their love enough, do they not communicate enough. They start to think, “What makes this other person better than me in any way?”

These kinds of questions do not usually come up when one is dealing with a purely sexual affair because they deal mainly with questions on physical inadequacies. Emotional affairs make the victims of infidelity feel like they are not enough as a person.

This only proves how emotional affairs are not harmless at all — most of the time, it’s the worst kind of heartbreak.

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