Vulnerable to Infidelity – Oldest Child Turns 13

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Chat Transcript of the Q & A

Glad you are here. Feel free to add your questions or comments.

3:01 PM

To All:

can you hear me?

3:01 PM

Lana (to Organizers):

yes

3:01 PM

Lana (to Organizers):

8.5

3:02 PM

Lana (to Organizers):

sorry I meant 10 is best

3:02 PM

David Rhoades (to All):

yes

3:04 PM

Bridgette Blackwood (to All):

I can hear

3:04 PM

David Rhoades (to All):

it has been 8 months and no movement from my spouse, she is still angry and saying she wont see me, yet she wont file papers, at what point do i give up.

3:05 PM

David Rhoades (to All):

is it too late to try no contact? do i push her a little now and ask for a meeting? she keeps saying we need to meet to talk about what we are going to do, which means how to divorce.

3:08 PM

Bridgette Blackwood (to All):

10 yrs ago i cheated and my husband expects to remember details. I have ms and i cant remember anything…he doubts it. What can i do i dont want to lie!

3:08 PM

Laura (to All):

How to handle combination types

3:09 PM

Leah (to All):

how do we keep our imaginations from getting the best of us? don’t know enough about affair and may be giving it more power than it had but can’t seem to keep imagination in check

3:10 PM

David Rhoades (to All):

yes that is correct

3:12 PM

Annie (to All):

I feel guilty, because there was a lot of abuse in my marriage, physical and emotional and spiritual, and I turned to another friend who is male, and I became attached to him.

3:12 PM

David Rhoades (to All):

cant right now

3:13 PM

Bridgette Blackwood (to All):

Yes

3:15 PM

Bridgette Blackwood (to All):

Ill try…

3:15 PM

Bridgette Blackwood (to All):

No

3:16 PM

Laura (to All):

My spouse says I will never change..he doesn’t believe I will change but he won’t even give specifics as to what changes he is looking for.

3:18 PM

David Rhoades (to All):

she keeps saying over and over she will not see me, it is over etc. i have stopped telling her i love her and i am here for her hoping that she will respond in some way. i am just getting nothing from her and wondering if i should bluff her into action by forcing that meeting or telling her i am ready to move on from her.

3:18 PM

Laura (to All):

leaping the person? sorry I missed that

3:19 PM

David Rhoades (to All):

there has been no infidelity just anger and she says i have emotionally abused her

3:19 PM

Bryant (PRIVATE):

I had an affair and felt horrible. I told her everything. She had an affair afterwards and have lied for 2 years about everything. I was ok and could have gotten over the affair, but the lies are too much

3:19 PM

Laura (to All):

yes

3:20 PM

Bryant (PRIVATE):

yes

3:20 PM

Mary (to All):

Bob, I am trying new behaviors, i.e. “staying neutral” but also seeking boundaries and not tolerating verbal abuse. His response is further distancing, using silent treatment. is this to be expected?

3:21 PM

Bryant (PRIVATE):

she wants me forgive

3:21 PM

Bryant (PRIVATE):

but can trust her

3:21 PM

Bryant (PRIVATE):

cant trust her

3:21 PM

Bryant (PRIVATE):

too many lies

3:22 PM

Bryant (PRIVATE):

yes

3:22 PM

Bryant (PRIVATE):

storires dont add up

3:27 PM

Leah (to All):

how do we keep our imaginations from getting the best of us? don’t know enough about affair and may be giving it more power than it had but can’t seem to keep imagination in check

3:28 PM

David Rhoades (to All):

i think she verbally abused me, but concede that two couples argue and we went to far with our insults.

3:28 PM

David Rhoades (to All):

sorry my comments are all interspersed here

3:29 PM

Melissa Burger (PRIVATE):

I just got in and not sure how to ask a question can you see this

3:29 PM

Mary (to All):

OK, will give this a try, Bob. meta-commenting is a new concept for me.

3:31 PM

Mary (to All):

Thanks, Bob!

3:31 PM

Mary (to All):

how do I get your news

3:31 PM

Mary (to All):

Thanks!

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