Infidelity – Day of Discovery: How to "Hold" your FeelingsOuch! No, it’s more than an ouch, isn’t it? How about a huge punch in the stomach? How about ripping your heart out? How about a menagerie of crazy unending thoughts that defy sleep or anything else you propose for that matter? Infidelity stabs you over and over, at least initially. Allow me to present one way, just one way, to begin to get a "hold" your feelings. Notice I didn’t say "get rid" of your awful feelings. Often, the more we insist upon them "going away" the more they seem to persist. After all, your feelings have concerns and fears that MUST be addressed. But, you want to address them on YOUR timetable and in in way that will honor you. The key word is: control. You want to control yourself, your thinking and your feelings as you move through this agonizing process. At the same time you do not want to "control" to the extent that you deny, avoid or minimize what it is that you must look at and address in your situation. I often suggest this technique. 1. Get a kitchen timer or stop watch of some kind, notebook and pencil. For the remainder of this article and more… |
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This article is part of a series of articles written by Dr. Huizenga. He responds in practical and heart-felt ways to pressing issues such as:
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