Emotional Affairs: Learn the clues with Break Free From the Affair
Hear from other people who have broken free from the pain and agony of emotional affairs:
We asked hundreds of Break Free From the Affair readers to tell us how they were helped by reading the book. Following are just a few of the overwhelmingly positive responses:
- The 7 diff rent types of affairs,or actually personalities really gave me insights on how to cope or better asses how to handle things. I even saw some of myself in the different profiles, but I would have to say we both seem to have a mixture of these traits.
- Absolutely amazing results, you have let me understand that by applying your principles you force your spouse to realize the problem and address the issues,and also help myself learn that I will be alright. There is still a long road ahead but am pleased and comforted that I have a healthy plan and coach to guide me through this very difficult time. thank you Rodger
- Found out what type of person my husband was and that his smoke and mirrors really wasn’t about me, it was about himself. His dishonesty about his secret life and true emotional identity shocked me. He projects such a different image to me and society. Duplicity shocked me. Now I can see it all….I have yet to confront him.
- My husband is not communicating so I don’t have a response after my first attempt. I have read the book and have gone back to re-read sections. I found it very empowering.
- The do’s and dont’s are very helpful
- It has helped in so many ways. I guess in the first part, it has shown me how important I am. I am married to a gold digger and it helped me to see that. He is bi-polar, and I see that like the leopard he can’t change that, especially since he won’t accept that. One of the main things I see is the jealously. I always thought it was love. I now know it was control, anger & fear of losing. I realized that this is a mission to hurt me. I realize I can’t go back to the past and I should not even want to. I realize that I have to look at the bad in people first and when I get to the reality of the situation I should proceed more slowly. Don’t excuse bad behavior because when I do that I make it acceptable, even when there is violence.
- It helped me to see things from outside of all the anger and feelings and help rebuild what was broken.
- I was totally confused – I could not understand why it had happened, particularly as my husband swore that he had always loved me and only wanted me – that the other person never meant particularly much to him (the affair lasted for more than 3 years and he had finished the affair a few weeks before I got a phone call from someone else telling me about it 5 weeks ago). The profiles of different affairs was enlightening – we both believed initially that the affair probably happened because the marriage was perceived as being ‘bad’ but the profile did not fit. When we read #5 – 95% of it fitted. His behavior and his decision to end the affair became crystal clear. It has given me a framework to work with – still terribly hurt but I can at least see a way forward now. Thank you for this book – when the affair was unveiled we both immediately had counseling and I was seriously being considered for hospitalization. It just seemed that all the talking, although revealing and confronting, did not get to the heart of the matter. I know now that I do not need to go into hospital, drugs certainly will not fix it – I will continue with counseling as issues have been uncovered for both of us that have certainly contributed to our previous inability to communicate. Thank you very much for taking the time to write this book.
- It was a step for me to realize that I need help. Perhaps my situation is different though, as my husband does not see it as an affair, but a long time relationship that somehow the three of us are going to live with. She satisfies a need that I am unable to fulfill, and he can not give the other woman up. He still would like to have his wife and family, and I still would like to have him as my husband, and maintain the family. However, I wish that he would stop seeing the other woman.
Emotional Affairs Sneak up on you
by Dr. Huizenga – The Infidelity Coach
Emotional affairs tend to sneak up on you most of the
time.
They perhaps start as a friendship or with an acquaintance or
co-worker.
Eventually boundaries become blurred and slowly a line is crossed.
So where do these affairs typically begin to germinate?
Here are the results of a survey taken with you a while back.
I asked the question: How did the emotional affair begin?
I’ve included below the responses from 43 of you:
1. “In a bar.”
2. “Restaurant//Bar.
