Terri Rebuilding Trust with a Husband who Needs “Juice”
You will learn:
- How building trust for Terri goes beyond the obvious. how you can feel great sharing your wisdom and help others through infidelity.
First, here’s a partial coaching summary by Dr. Huizenga of a taped Laser Coaching Session with Terri:
Can trust and honesty ever be the cornerstone for a marriage, especially when he is starved for attention? Terri and he are comfortable around each other and enjoy most of their time together. They can talk about the affair. They discuss with frequency the extent of the contact (he still talks to the OP) and what they would like to see happen in the marriage.
His affair pointed to a powerful personal need for attention that “juices” his life. What is he going to do with that, now and in the future, when things “quiet down?”
How can Terri be certain that he has truly ended his relationship with the OP and is committed to a marriage based on integrity and trust?
Dr. Huizenga ‘s Review (partial):
1. Rebuilding trust in a marriage tarnished by infidelity often does not flow smoothly. In a herky-jerky fashion the couple attempts to first regain some equilibrium, declare expectations and move from there.
I inferred from Terri’s comments that her husband was, for the most part, engaged in the “I Fell out of love…and just love being in love” affair and also touches of “I Can’t Say No.”
These two affair types intersect at his personal need system. She describes him as “high maintenance” or a very needy person. He needed consistent stroking and attention especially from the opposite sex.
His inability to manage his need system mirrors his inability to manage his relationships with the two women in his life. He therefore had a difficult time stopping the affair with the OP. Her aggressiveness in pursuing him fit nicely into his need for attention and flattery (even though she was sleeping with other men while seeing him).
He lacked the strength and internal fiber to cut off that relationship. It persisted off and on.
How could Terri trust him?
2. Terri was doing a masterful job of being consistent. You could TRUST that Terri meant what she said. Yes, she reacted and spewed a few times, but predictability and consistency were a hallmark of Terri…
The remainder of the review and the audio tape are included in the new audio series: 19 Live Infidelity Coaching Sessions with Dr. Robert Huizenga, The Infidelity Coach.
19 Live Infidelity Coaching Sessions
with Dr. Huizenga – The Infidelity coach
You will:
- shift your focus away from the pain
- see the issues rather than feel the issues
- feel good about your progress and strength
- clear the cobwebs, get the clear picture
- build your skills for your next intensee encounter
- learn how to act with power and integrity not react out of neediness and weakness
You will receive:
- 19 live coaching interveiws 15-20 minutes long with a variety of people coping with different kinds of extramarital affairs. (Over 5 hours of listening.)
- A workbook containing:
- an introduction to each situation by either Dr. Huizenga or the coachee
- an extensive summary and comments by Dr. Huizenga about the session
- dozens of comments from others, like you, who have listened the tape, offering their input, words of wisdom or personal experience.
- The ability to listen to the tapes online.
- The ability to download the tapes onto CD or MP3 format.
