Surviving Infidelity as the Bitterness Lingers
Coping with Infidelity often means facing a bitterness and anger that does not quickly fade.
This person describes her struggle to “hang in there” in the midst of her sadness and bitterness:
I was very angry and definitely wanted to leave. I did just this. Two weeks later my husband had a heartfelt desire to be together. I cautiously listened to make sure he was being honest about making it together. While I was away I had talked my heart out with wonderful counselors and those in my same position. I prayed, looked at myself and asked myself what do I have to give this man now. Well, nothing but to let him know how he hurt me, and to take responsibility for his actions. He needed to know what he was losing. I prayed and listened and talked about infidelity, what it does to marriage and how there is no going back to yesterday. I have allowed myself to give my time, love, physical and emotional, to him a little at a time. He now knows it may take years but has hope for us. I stay for reasons such as financial, security, hope for future, religious convictions because at 66 and he is 64 where do I really go?? Many would love the attention he gives me now but it is only done out of remorse and hoping I will stay. I continue to want to leave and yet I am still here. God help me because I am very bitter. It is so hard to give in. We don’t talk a lot about our feelings and emotions much. He just does not want to admit all, only the fact he got caught and wanted to get it out finally. I just get sad, sad and more sad. I have always been a positive enthusiastic loving person and today I am just so negative. This is not good and I know it. I just want to wallow in my hurt and hurt him also. I hope someday this will stop. I hope at some point there may be another major point in our lives to bring us together and not apart as his infidelity did. Inside I love life and people. I only tell myself I will survive, I can handle this and be a strong person letting him know he must be honest, loving, and tell me what I need to know about the affair. (If ever) Well Dr Bob I just continue to look forward. We do normal things, plan and eat and pray together but this other woman is always here in many ways. Good luck to any out there. Keep up the hope, love him, and listen. I cannot forgive my husband and through thorough study of scriptures I do not have to forgive adultery. Yet that can change at any time. There is hope and a will and way if you wait long enough. I have only known for sure since Oct 23,2008 just a few months. No one can predict for sure our future. We have shut people out so we can work on this. It was a good thing.
More Surviving Infidelity Stories and Comments
On Surviving Infidelity: The Comforting Voice Within
Infidelity and The Importance of Routine and Self Care
The Power of Knowledge – Books and Spying Device
The Power of Faith and Living in Limbo
Forgiveness, Managing Depression and Investigator Gets the Truth
Refusing Blame and Moving on Forgiving Self
