Extramarital Affairs: Learn How
Hundreds of Others Have
Found Strength
An extramarital affair need not destroy you – or your relationship or your family! You can indeed break free from the extramarital affair.
For many, extramarital affairs serve as a test, a challenge and a springboard to redesign one’s life and relationships.
Extramarital affairs, indeed you will find as you read these testimonials, can bring new strength, purpose and clarity to your life and relationships. And, these statements from those confronting extramarital affairs let you know that you are not alone. Others have weathered the storm and feel the calm after it passes.
Many of the following testimonials are from people who found power and comfort in my ebook. For more information click here.
Personal, one-on-one help is available to you. Find out more about our coaching packages.
370 Comments about
Break Free From the Affair:
| Dealing with a cheating spouse or cheating boyfriend can be one of the most painful and devastating experiences a relationship can face.I cannot recommend this book enough. It not only outlines specifically the 7 types of affairs (and how to handle each – whether you choose to stay or go), but you will find it’s material empowering. This book will help you to fully understand that YOU are not defective.There is nothing wrong with YOU! It also begins with the big question: “Do you really want to be in a relationship with this person?”Anyone faced with infidelity, or anyone who wants to avoid infidelity should have a copy ofthis book. I cannot recommend it enough. Tracey of pig-dogs.net |
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With your e-book, at least the feeling of being “crazy” is lessening somewhat.
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Thank you for caring enough about people and thank you for bringing some sanity to my not so sane world.
—Brad |
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hi, Just wanted to let you know I am finding your web site very helpful. I just read about the need to know exactly what happened in an affair. My husband had an affair last year and I found out in June of this year. I have not been able to go a day without having questions,questions, questions. He answers most with detail however he often says he does not know or he does not remember. that drives me crazy, I feel if he had an affair after 19 years of a very close relationship with me he should remember every detail of the affair. He is very remorseful and wants to work things out and actually broke it off with this woman long before I found out. I think we can make it I just wish all these thoughts feelings and Questions would go away, he hates the questions. Thanks for listening,it helps to let someone else know what is going on with me ,as I am keeping this hush hush from most everybody.
—Marcia |
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It is very important for the sanity of we who have been betrayed to know that we are NOT crazy and that an affair is NOT our “fault”. You are terrific for providing this information
—Yvonne |
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The explanations you give are usually right on. You seem to know what I’m feeling. Each time I talk to you I feel stronger and stronger.
—Debbie |
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Your materials are very helpful–one of the best “affair” sites on the web.
—Amy |
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Wish I had found your page before the divorce was final and they are engaged.
— Vickie |
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Reading your newsletters really seems to help. I read it Monday night and by Tuesday, I felt really good. I felt like I could control everything and not have him in my thoughts every second.
—Subscriber |
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I look forward to your future newsletters. (My husband is aware I am getting information from this site and he is actually reading some of it! I hope it helps.)
—Subscriber |
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I appreciate this site being available to people like me who have many, many questions and concerns after an affair has been revealed. You are a big help.
—Jack |
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I often find myself wanting to talk to others that may be able to share some of their experiences with me. As you must already know, it’s a bit difficult sometimes to speak about your feelings of deception with those whom you consider friends. One of the biggest challenges is being able to face your pain and bring it to light so that everyone else knows just what you are going through. I found this site on a day when I felt so darn lonely, and just out of answers. I began reading some of the advise that you gave to others and for the first time I realized I was not alone in my struggle.
—Alan |
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I’ve struggled with this for almost a year. I am the one who chose to have the affair and my husband has not found out about it and I pray he never will. I ended it about 4 months ago but everyday of my life I still think about him, what I did and just the guilt of it all. Each day is a new day, but I realize there is so much I need to learn about myself and why I got in the situation to begin with. . I was glad to find your website and I’m glad that today your newsletter was here. Just wanted to say Thanks and keep it coming.
— Kathy |
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Thank you soooo much for the newsletter. This has been an incredibly hard time in my life- to say the least- and knowing that there is someone out there who cares means the world to me. Thank you for me and all the others who are in this nightmare.
—Dee |
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I had a chance to check the new site out today, and I was so impressed and proud of just how well it has taken shape. I know this is an overdue comfort zone for so many. I had to take this moment to thank you for your dedication and for your determination to make this powerful information available to a community of so many. You have no idea just how many people live in pain because they do not know just where to turn. I am an advocate of this site and I promote it whenever possible. I have shared this site with people who I have come in contact with that seem lost in their own struggle.
—Debra |
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I learned that the kind of affair I was facing and that it was not my FAULT. Also practical strategies to get my life going.
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The most important thing that I learned was that I had to worry about myself first. Another thing that was important was that I discovered that there was an emptiness that my wife was feeling that was caused by something that occurred to her long ago.That no matter what – I am going to make it! The affair is not my fault. He chose to do it, not me!
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| Thank you for all your newsletters. I have been collecting them but unfortunately my computer crashed and I lost all those received since October. Would it be at all possible to have you resend those newsletters to my e-mail address? Joanne |
| It is such a BLESSING to me to know there is someone out there who specializes in the field of infidelity. It has been a lonely search for me, quite isolating. I have always known there has to be another nice woman like me somewhere in this world – with a child from a married man. The stereotypes of the ‘other woman’ are not always on the mark. I’ve looked for a therapist prior to this, and have found therapist to preach to me – to condemn me – or to support me – but never able to sort of see where I’m at currently and help me from there. I’m sure you understand. One must start therapy from where they actually are – and where I am is very threatening to many married folk, even therapist. I’m already grateful to you for simply acknowledging the subject of infidelity and the therapeutic needs in relation to the topic. Theresa |
| The ebook put things into perspective for me. Gwen |
| Everyone who is experiencing the pain and shock of an affair or suspected affair should read Dr. Bob Huizenga’s “Breaking Free” book. This material, more than anything else, has helped me forge my way through a terrible time, and gain clear perspective on what I have been dealing with. Dr. Bob sheds light on human nature and the predictable patterns we follow in relationships and marriages in a profoundly concise way. “Break Free” has set me free in many ways, despite terrible personal pain, because I was able to put my situation into perspective, and face the reality of it all. Truth, stumbling around for months and perhaps even years, “wondering” about what my husband’s behaviour might mean, and how I ought to behave back, I quickly gained a clear understanding of my reality after reading “Break Free.” As time goes on, I find myself even more amazed at just how accurate and helpful Dr. Bob’s insight and advice is. On top of the material, Bob’s personal coaching has provided much needed relief and additional support when I have really needed it. Thanks very much Bob….- Jennifer (last name withheld) |
| Thank-you for writing your book, Break Free From the Affair. I downloaded it last night and it has been very eye-opening. It is wonderful that just when I needed some practical and sound advice, I found your site on the internet. I’ve got a lot of things to work through, as I just uncovered concrete evidence of my husbands’ continuing years-long affair with his receptionist. Your book has helped me pick my path, so to speak, of what I will (and will not) do next. Laura |
| Things seemed to have settled though she still wants to carry on life with both of us. At first I never thought I would cope, like you say your self esteem goes straight down the pan. Identifying the types of affair and the possible outcomes really helped as did the backgrounds to them. When I found your book it was like hey there is a life beyond this and for the first time since the affair came to light I know know there is a me. Roger |
| Hi…I purchased your e book some days ago now and have found it a tremendous help. i won’t say that I am perfect in its application , I have a lot to learn, But whichever way this works out, she wants to share our 3 lives together, I know now that I will be true to myself and will accept what I want, and I will come through this with or without her. The mantra is working. Don’t get me wrong I want to save the marriage, and I feel the tactics are great, but at the end if my implementation is poor and I fail at least I tried, and either way I will have a support network and i will be a better person. Roger |
| Dr. Bob,Thank you for all your support e-mails the last few days. When I returned to work from a very stressful holiday, I really needed to read all of them. Can’t wait to read all the goodies I downloaded when I get home tonight. Finding your website has been a Godsend. Your reassurance that I will make it and that the affair is not my fault, helps me each and every day. Susan |
| Thank you, I feel like I have an answer now and help. Thank you again. Bless you for helping so many people. I wish I had found your site a year ago and I might not be in this mess. Sincerely, Debra. |
| Although all of type #4 seems to fit my situation like a glove, I highlighted the most strongest points that apply there as well. And I must tell you, it was shocking when I first read #4, it was as if you were a fly on the wall during this whole thing. It’s scary to think that other people in the world have experienced the same thing. I thought it was just her doing it to me. Thank you very much for your web site and for the service you provide. |
| Unfortunately, my marriage is over and I am in the process of accepting it. Nonetheless, the insights you have provided have contributed greatly to both my mental well-being and my ability to cope with the situation. Jeff |
| Thanks for the prompt reply and for sending the book, I have had a chance to browse through and spotted our scenario immediately. I will try to follow your advice, it is so nice to know what to do instead if flailing around doing the exact wrong thing! Christine |
| Thank you so much. Your advice makes a lot of sense, for us to find a way to use the pain of these prank calls to make us stronger. I think my wife & I are making great progress together in our relationship and saving our marriage. I thank you so much for your ebook and your advice in this specific matter. As a person who has felt like my life has been turned upside down during this ordeal, you have provided me much support and “calm” to my situation. Terry |
| I really appreciate the emails and the letters. I will continue to read them and use them as a guide as well. No matter what, a broken heart is hard as ever to mend, but it will come in time————————— |
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Here are the things I have found good about your site/work so far. |
| I am so grateful that I ordered How to break free….., and I am now doing the 21 day course. It is a real lifeline to me. Jennifer |
| Thanks Bob for your encouraging words. I’m taking your advise and feel confident and at peace that I am on the path to reclaiming my integrity. I’m planning on a wonderful New Year! Joan |
| I look forward to hearing from you and for your ongoing advice, you are an extremely important find for me. There is very little pragmatic literature or advice out there .Sandy |
| One of the best parts of the book has been examining my motivations and helping me decide to save the marriage or not. I have found out much about myself and identified my fear of living alone. I still struggle with the “I will make it” self message and have some sadness over the loss of the relationship with my wife.Overall I am very glad that I found your website and appreciate the online discussion forum greatly. Marty |
| Just a note to wish you a very happy holiday season. I want to thank youfor all your help this past year. Your counsel and articles have helped mea more than you will ever know. Whenever I start to get down, I reread yourebook, especially the part on affair #4. joe |
| THANK YOU SO MUCH for sending me the emails. The best Christmas present I will get. I will get over all this and figure out what to do going forward. My faith in male/female relationships has been severely damaged but I will work on that. Sue |
| Dear Bob,I recently purchased your E-book “Break Free From Your Affair” on November 10, 2003. I really depend on this book right now. However, it is gone from my computer. I don’t know what happened to it. Please help. I need to refer back to it. Robin |
| First, I have bought your ebook and have found it fantastic. I’m still trying to identify which type of affair scenario fits my husband. I am after only 6 weeks in surprisingly good “emotional” shape, which in part is due to your book. Karen |
| Already, I have started putting into practice the suggestions from your materials and usually feeling empowered. linda |
| I downloaded your e-book and it helped me cope with what was happening in my life. I must have read it 25 times!!!Thank You, Kathi |
| just when I needed that, you have a great website and people who sign up can truly feel supported. You tip today hit the spot! God bless and have a great holiday. |
| Your site is a big help, thank you! kevin |
| Dear Dr. Huizenga,First and foremost I want to say that you have already helped me tremendously just by reading some of your articles and information on your website and your emails. Of all the websites and books I have read, yours is superior in regard to this subject. I sincerely appreciate all your work to help people like me that are in the situations that we are. John |
| I am impressed with your book, and it’s been helpful. Bob Conley |
| As one of your members, I just wanted to say thank you for your web site and for all you do to help others get through such a difficult time in their lives. Several months ago I became a member of your “club” and got your e-book “Break Free From The Affair.” Thanks again for your site because it helps put me back on the path of reality and truth and gives me comfort and hope. May God bless. Carol |
| …you pose pertinent and sometimes uncomfortable questions I must ask myself to determine my own motives for wanting to save my marriage. But for me the most valuable part of each chapter is your very specific advice on what I can do to increase my chances that our marriage will survive the affair. Yvonne |
| …very tightly and concisely written, in understandable language and clear suggestions. Thanks! Nancy |
| I wanted to Thank you earlier but have been busy with the baby. She is 3 1/2 months old and cutting her first teeth. I must tell you how very much appreciated it is that you are there to listen and give advise. I appreciate it VERY much. Finding you has been a God send for me. I hope God blesses you. Thank you for this email and I will read every bit of it and use it in my everyday living. Pam |
| Thanks and best regards. (Your information was HUGELY helpful in helping me to categorize (to a tee!) this “behavior” and of course look to move beyond it… Jennifer |
| Can’t believe reading your e-mails that the situations are just like what I’m experiencing. My husband left the house three months ago. Four days before our 25TH Anniversary We celebrated it with a night in NYC Nothing spared. I know he’s having an affair & won’t admit it. Lately, he’s been a great deal better with his attitude. I think the affair has somewhat come to an end. He still needs two weeks to come home. Why??? I made an appointment with a mediator. He flipped today with that. Mary |
| As one of your members, I just wanted to say thank you for your web site and for all you do to help others get through such a difficult time in their lives. Several months ago I became a member of your “club” and got your e-book “Break Free From The Affair.” Thanks again for your site because it helps put me back on the path of reality and truth and gives me comfort and hope. May God bless you for thesacrifices you are making for others. Carol |
| My wife and I have been fighting aboout 8 months now & she finally moved out about 3 weeks ago I wish I would have gotten you e book sooner. Joe |
| Bob,Thank you for the gift. I do read them and they do help me see things I have not thought of or understood because I am so involved. Your gifts provide me with insight and hope. I enjoy them….. :-) Know you are appreciated…..Annette |
| I just finished reading your e-book How to break free of the affair. I must state this was the best book on relationships I have read thus far. my compliments on your wonderful book. Thank you NR |
| Dr. Huizenga: I have read every book I could get my hands on over the last two-and-a-half years since I knew my husband was involved with another woman. His affair lasted two years and has been ended for almost ten months. With all of the top-ranked “affair/infidelity” and “relationship” books on the market, I thought I had the best information available to help me, and my husband, not only end his affair but to get through the tough times following it. Was I ever wrong! You have produced the most helpful, useful and relevant book on dealing with your partner’s affair that I have ever seen. You include vital information that no other source contains. Your profiles are so accurate it is eery! For me the most valuable part of each chapter is the very specific advice on what YOU can do to increase your chances that your marriage will survive the affair. I felt many times as I read your book that you somehow had been in my head and heart and living my life, your descriptions and profiles are that accurate! Yvonne |
| Dr. Huizenga, your book has provided me with greater insight, with more understanding, with reassurance of my own value. But it has also presented me with a scary problem: My husband’s affair was a very complicated matter, it is not going to be an easy or short road to recovery, and it will not be easy determining which tactics to use and when as I deal with building a new, and hopefully better thanks to you, relationship with my husband. Initially my heart and hopes sank as I discovered just how difficult this “recovery” will be, but it is encouraging to find that my intuitive responses in dealing with my husband and his affair have more often than not been correct. You have also given me many new ideas of ways to “shake up” the way we communicate and relate with each other, something we have needed badly for many years. I have a difficult road ahead, I have to accept that, but you have helped me understand that new territory better than I could have without this book. I can never thank you enough or repay your generosity. Sally |
| As usual your information is right on the mark. Its uncanny how your stuff seems to reach me just when I am looking for the information. Its marvelous to read. It makes me feel normal again. Regards Yvette |
| I have been using the Charging Neutral technique even without knowing about it until today. This is not normal for me since I am unemotional from day-to-day, but get emotional when we fight and eventually explode (like the description in Affair #5). Being very, very calm with her at first really scared her (I have never hit/hurt her), but she has opened up tremendously the more I can show that I won’t explode. |
| This is the one year anniversary of my life turning upside down d |
