Surviving Infidelity Series: Adultery and Journaling to Deal with the Pain
The following stories are from two women who found a significant amount of peace through journaling throughout their painful journeys:
I was able to get some of my feelings and thoughts out in an art journal that I hid when my husband (who finally confessed he had fallen in love with another woman) was supposed to be home. I loved Christina Aguilera’s song ‘Fighter’. I needed to hear a strong woman saying powerful words! Currently I love Pink’s song ‘So What’. I exercised when he would leave during the night or not come home. I read library books dealing with infidelity, saving the marriage, divorce, and wrote notes in my art journal. I talked with my congregation’s elders to build up my faith. At the time I was a SAHM and a volunteer at our kids’ school (one of my husband’s complaints before he left us was that I wasn’t helping with the bills, but he also didn’t want to pay for childcare nor come home at a regular hour so that I could get a paying job while he watched our kids). I talked with friends and family, including my MIL, to set up my support system–who can watch my kids on snow/vacation days when I have to work. Yes, I finally got a part-time job thru my sister and it’s during school hours, which is good! I really appreciated the free counseling I received at a shelter for domestic violence/emotional abuse. I also cleaned out a small room for him (another of my husband’s complaints was that I had too much junk/papers/books and he had no space, so I was able to get rid of a bunch of stuff because I was numb or crying at the time), but since he left, now it’s just a storage room for some of his stuff. It’s been almost a year since he told me about her and a few months since he moved out. I know I’m doing better, but I still miss him.
I am still going through the motions. The first couple of days, I walked around like a zombie. My husband kept telling me how sorry he was and waited on me hand and foot. I slept a lot and did a lot of journaling. His birthday was 3 days later after the disclosure and of course, I did not feel like doing anything for his birthday. I did suggest that he and I go see a movie and we went to see FIREPROOF. Now, I will not say that a movie is going to change our life but I will say that it made a huge impact on both of us. We both cried through the whole thing. After seeing the movie, I went on an “errand” and ran to the Christian book store. I bought two copies of the LOVE/DARE book that is featured in the movie. I also bought two bookmarks that have the “marriage prayer” on it. I came home and pulled out the divorce papers that I had received from my lawyer and told my husband what I had done. He was very hurt and shocked that I had seen a lawyer, but I wanted to be honest with him. I then gave him the book and bookmark and told him not to disappoint me. He has been following the book along with A LOT OF COUNSELING from a marriage counselor and our pastor. This is still very “raw” for me and I don’t feel like I am making a whole lot of progress. I have to say that my husband seems geniunely sorry and I have to make a decision to either move forward and step aside. This is easily the HARDEST time of my life. The trust is gone. I don’t even feel married at this moment. I have some good days but still have many bad days. I have only known about the affair for two months although I suspected it for a couple months before. I think that the only good so far from this whole nightmare is that I lost 30 pounds in less than two months and that I am now seeing a new side of my husband that I never knew existed. I took about six weeks off from work due to surgery and getting back into the “swing of things” has not been going very well, as I really just want to stay in bed all day and cry. I know that being around other people is better for me, and I am just taking things day by day. I turn to my friends and scripture quite a bit now although my faith is not very strong as of right now. I need to work on my self esteem as I have none right now. Journaling is nice because I can write my feelings down and not get any feedback. Just my own thoughts that I can refer to from time to time as needed.
More Surviving Infidelity Stories and Comments
Everyone Has His/Her Own Way of Coping with Infidelity
Confiding in Family and Friends can Ease the “Shock of Discovery”
You Gotta Have Faith!!
Keeping Yourself Occupied After the Horrifying Discovery of the Affair
The Grass Isn’t Always Greener for the Cheating Spouse…Maybe Just Painted
