I am a person who holds everything most intimate inside and has a bit of a shame to talk to old friends about feelings and the bad sides of my life. The biggest change for me was that I told a few of my friends what had happened and I was surprised how great their response was. One immediately shared the story of herself and her long-term boyfriend, the other listened to me and only tried to calm me down for weeks and months, without being patronizing or offering her opinion, the third urged me to think before I decide for divorce. Choose wisely the people you talk to, but do find someone, there will be a grain of balance in you almost immediately! I found Dr. Huizenga’s site a week after I found out about the affair and it was great to have this material too. None of my friends were at all judgmental, which made my husband somewhat ashamed and he showed more respect for me because of how good my friends were.